Letters
by routavaurio
Summary: Post-series. Yugi Mutou and Ryou Bakura share a moment between friends after Atem's passing.


**Note: This is kind of an epilogue to ****_Pieces_****, but I wanted to make this a separate one-shot because it would break my point-of-view-alternating. This one-shot contains mild spiritual themes.**

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**Letters**

For the most part, he was happy. For the most part.

That didn't make things completely okay.

Yugi had tried to take a philosophical approach to it all. He kept reminding himself of the fact that nothing was eternal and that they had expected it. Atem's departure had been inevitable. He had already been dead when they had met. Yugi had reminded himself of all the good times they'd had, the good things they'd learned, and all the memories they had made. He did his best to put on a happy, encouraging face when his friends were feeling down or when Anzu was still showing signs of latent pining after Atem. Yugi supposed he did it mostly because that was what he usually did. He was the one who saw the good in others and in situations that for most would have been nightmarishly overwhelming. He was the one who pushed his own problems aside to comfort others, and he was the one who'd faced years of loneliness and bullying and hadn't let it bring him so down that he couldn't rise from it. And he could admit that yes, he was all that, and they had all agreed that Atem's parting was what was meant to happen.

But any of that couldn't change the fact that Yugi's best friend was dead.

Atem had lived in Yugi's mind for several years, and while that wasn't a very long time in a normal life-span, it had shaped both Yugi and Atem so much that it felt like a very meaningful eternity. They had shared their thoughts and feelings, victories and losses. They had both grown up to better people together. It had been a strange friendship for sure, and Yugi was sure it wouldn't even have worked if both he and Atem hadn't been a touch crazy. Well, in Atem's case, _more _than a touch. It wasn't an insult; it was a fact. Atem had been downright insane when he had been released from the prison that had held him in darkness for millennia. But he had got better, and he had helped Yugi get better. And in just one moment it all was just... in the past. In memories. Yugi refused to say gone, because Atem was never really gone.

Even that thought didn't help him at the worst of the times. It didn't take away the emptiness he felt in the back of his mind, in the place that used to house Atem's soul.

Yugi trudged through the streets of Domino City, slowly and not even caring to look out for bullies. They had pretty much left him alone after he had become more confident. He hadn't quite grown out of being nervous in crowds, though. Now he barely saw the people around him. It was one of his funks that had started a couple of weeks after Atem's passing. Yugi was sure he had never been truly depressed before. Now it had crept into his mind very discreetly. The knowledge of being his own person and having his life ahead after being shaped to who he was with the guidance of an ancient soul wasn't enough to keep it away.

Yugi was reminded of being in a public place when he almost walked over a six-year-old. That snapped him back to reality, and he quickly tried to focus on the task at hand. He was going to Ryou Bakura's house. Bakura had been absent from school for two days now. Teachers and classmates had been informed he was just ill and that it was nothing serious, but Yugi felt like he needed to make sure... Bakura had been absent from school a lot when the Millennium Items and dead Ancient Egyptians had been a constant part of their lives. At those times the reasons for his absence had been far less innocent. Yugi knew the spirit that had plagued Bakura was gone now, just like... well, anyway, he still needed to check it out. Bakura would surely appreciate the company anyway.

Bakura opened the door slightly and shyly peeked through the gap. His white hair was messy, he was even paler than usually and his brown eyes looked a little hazy, but he was smiling when Yugi greeted him and seemed overall to be faring pretty well.

"It is good to see you," Bakura said, "Thank you for visiting."

Yugi smiled.

"I wanted to see how you're doing. You're not feeling too bad, are you?"

"Oh, no. I'm quite all right. On the mend, actually," Bakura hesitated and then opened the door further, "Would you like to come in? I can make some tea if you'd like."

Yugi knew he hadn't been the best company lately to anyone, but right now seeing Bakura – who had been abused by the spirit of the thief not too long ago – smiling through his illness in an apartment that seemed so quiet... Yugi nodded immediately.

"If it's not too much trouble."

"Not at all. My father is working so there is no one else home."

So very quiet. Yugi left his shoes by the door.

"This is not actually tea," Bakura told him when pouring something hot into two teacups, "It's _yerba mate_. My father got it from a South American associate. He told me it's usually drunk through a straw, but the Japanese way works fine to me. It has been very good for my cold."

He set the cups on a table and sat across from Yugi. The tea was very different from the traditional Japanese blends Yugi's mother used. Yugi found himself liking it very much. He and Bakura sat in comfortable silence that was only interrupted by an occasional sniff from Bakura and eventually the "How are you?" asked so contemplatively that Yugi was surprised and for a while didn't know how to answer.

"I'm fine," he finally said, "But school has been pretty tough. I hope you get better soon so you don't have too much catching up to do."

Bakura nodded slowly.

"I'll survive. I am actually quite happy with schoolwork. It feels very... normal."

The last part was said very quietly, almost as an afterthought. Yugi frowned.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it all. With the... other Bakura, I mean. But he... he's gone now."

"I know," Bakura said, "At first it felt almost strange, having control of my life again. I am glad to have got used to it again."

"So you're getting better?" Yugi asked, "I... I know he hurt you a lot."

"I can assure you I am getting over it very well. I am stronger than you think. It was a nightmare that is in the past now. Now I just have to forget the worst."

Bakura gave a short, humourless laugh that almost broke Yugi's heart.

"I'm so sorry," he said again.

Bakura shook his head.

"No. Don't be. If anything, I should be sorry. I didn't invite you here just so you could listen to me wallowing in self-pity. I know you are going through some tough times as..."

He quieted suddenly. Yugi's hands had unconsciously tightened around the teacup with no regard of the hot surface.

"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to," Bakura whispered, "I didn't mean to bring it up."

Yugi slowly let go of the cup and looked at his hands. They tingled with the heat of the tea and Yugi saw the old burn scars that were forever etched all over his hands. Bakura's hand was scarred as well. They were in many ways different sides of the same coin. They both had had their lives controlled by ancient magical artefacts. They both had been vessels of spirits. They had both been scarred. The difference was, that Bakura's scars had been born of hate, and Yugi's scars were pretty much the opposite.

"It's alright," Yugi finally managed to say, "Now we're just apologising to each other. Maybe... maybe it's actually good to talk about it."

Because now that he thought about it, he really hadn't talked about it enough. He had barely spoken about Atem at all after Atem had walked into the afterlife. He wasn't sure if it was because it was so painful or because Yugi didn't know how to start talking. None of his closer friends had pushed the issue, and the thought of talking to Bakura first felt a bit awkward. But Bakura was going through the same, in a way. Maybe Bakura really understood better than anyone else could at this point.

"How are you... feeling about it?" Bakura asked, "I have seen the others mourning in their own ways, but they are also very happy. You I'm not so sure about. You have just seemed depressed."

Yugi blinked. That was very close to the mark. How did Bakura know? Yugi realized with some embarrassment that he didn't really know Bakura all that well. They hadn't had time to get to know each other properly because of some age-old grudges between spirits. The Bakura he had known between the short times the other Bakura wasn't in control had been a wreck who tried to hide his brokenness behind a shy, polite and quiet exterior. This Bakura confirmed that he really was shy, polite and quiet, but there was a new, more relaxed side that openly welcomed friends. It also seemed that this Bakura was very good at reading people.

"I'm not sure exactly how I feel," Yugi said, "I've accepted it. We accepted it long before it happened. I'm happy that the Other Me... I mean, Atem, is where he's supposed to be, but I'm also... It just feels so odd to not have him around."

He stared at his tea and felt like now that the issue had been brought up properly, he couldn't stop himself from pouring his heart out.

"I feel like there's something missing of... of _me. _He used to live in my head and now there's just nothing where his presence used to be. We knew it was going to happen and I know it was good and I'm happy that he's his own person and I'm my own person but sometimes..."

He took a deep breath.

"Sometimes I'm afraid that he _didn't _get to a better place. That I made a mistake. That I..."

He shook his head and laughed. It was more of an apology in laugh-form.

"I know I'm not making any sense right now."

Bakura had been listening patiently to his outburst, fingers twined under his chin and eyes brighter than before. Now he took a moment, probably to make sure Yugi was really done talking, and smiled.

"It makes a lot of sense to me," he said, "I have that empty space in me too. Although, it can't be quite the same. Mine used to be filled with... the person I feared the most, not someone dear."

He sighed.

"But I also know how it feels to lose a loved one."

Yugi bit his lip in sympathy. He felt selfish for being so down because of this. Other people faced loss too. He should consider himself lucky that his loss had been someone who was supposed to move on.

"It hurts a lot at first," Bakura said quietly, "And in a way, it never goes away. It has been so long since Amane..."

Yugi rose from his seat so he could reach to put his hand on Bakura's shoulder when Bakura sniffed a bit louder than before. Bakura quickly shook his head.

"Sorry," he said, "I haven't talked about her much. I don't usually feel this sad because of her. That time is in the past. Now I just think of the good times. I know it won't be the same for you, because these things are different for everyone. What I am trying to say is, I know that it will hurt less with time."

Yugi tried to smile.

"I know. Well, I want to _think _I know."

He sat back down and took a sip of his tea. The silence that followed wasn't nearly as comfortable as the one before.

"Was Amane family? What was she like?" Yugi asked after a while and almost immediately felt like he was being too nosy.

Bakura just nodded.

"My younger sister. She died when she was very young. I don't remember her very well, except that she was the loveliest person I've ever known."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry," Bakura said sadly, "She is in a good place now, I know it. And sometimes I feel like she is still with me."

Yugi nodded slowly.

"I suppose so. We just have to trust them, right?"

"Exactly. Whatever comes after."

There was yet another silence. This time it was a bit less awkward.

"What _do_ you think comes after?" Yugi asked out of curiosity. He had never really made up his mind about that.

Bakura shrugged.

"I don't know. But I believe there is something. I always have. And with what Atem did, walking into the afterlife... it was like confirming it. For some it's reincarnation, for some it's judgement, for some it's being cleansed. For the Ancient Egyptians it was moving to a different place. A journey into the light after which they were still with us."

"Yeah," Yugi said, "I like the sound of that. Seeing Atem walk through that door was... it made me confident. I felt like it was the right thing to do. I shouldn't doubt it now. I'm sure there'll be no doors for everyone, but they'll end up there in their own way. Who knows, maybe Amane and Atem will come across each other. Unless the afterlife is choosy on where it puts so different people."

"Maybe," Bakura said, "Maybe they'll both watch over us and our friends together."

Bakura looked at his teacup a bit shyly.

"You know, I write letters to her."

Yugi raised a brow.

"To Amane?"

"Yes. It started out as a way of coping with it, I suppose. It was because of my father, actually. When I couldn't find a way to move on, my father told me how Ancient Egyptians used to write letters to their deceased loved ones. It helped me through the worst, and the habit stuck."

He chuckled.

"That might sound strange."

"No," Yugi said, "It's not strange at all."

His teacup was empty now. Yugi wasn't sure at which point that had happened. Bakura noticed it and stood up.

"Do you want more?" he asked.

"No thanks," Yugi said and stood as well, "I should let you rest. I shouldn't have brought up something like... like this."

"Don't worry about it, Yugi," Bakura smiled softly, "It was good to talk about it. I'm feeling much better, actually. I hope it helped you too."

"It did. Thank you."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

Bakura asked that a bit cautiously, as if he needed acceptance for declaring Yugi his friend. Yugi had told Bakura many times that they were indeed friends, but it seemed Bakura still wasn't completely over playing an involuntary part in making Yugi and his friends' life difficult in the past.

"That's right," Yugi said, "You really need to stop feeling guilty about what the other Bakura did."

"I'll try."

Bakura accompanied Yugi to the front door, where Yugi stepped into his shoes. He hadn't gone back to his oversized sneakers even now that Atem was gone. The boots _were _much nicer looking anyway.

"Get well soon, Bakura," Yugi said, "If you need any help with anything, or if you just want some company, give me a call. We could play RPGs again."

Bakura's smile widened to actual happiness.

"I'd like that a lot. This time without evil magic messing it up."

"Yeah," Yugi smiled back, "Well, I'll be seeing you."

Yugi returned home and his heart wasn't nearly so heavy any more. He felt like he was almost back to the mentality he had managed to keep up for a while after Atem's passing. There was a life ahead of him. His life. And Atem had his life too, somewhere where they would meet again at some point. Because they would never be truly apart. There was still the emptiness that felt alien in Yugi's mind, but maybe that would also become just another memory, a memento. Just like the framed photo that had been taken of Yugi when Atem had been in control and that now sat among the rest of the family photos that were on display.

Yugi walked straight upstairs and into his room. He had a letter to write.

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**Author's Note: ...So I wanted to explore Bakura's character a bit more and get to the more sad side of Yugi and Atem's final goodbye, which I think would leave Yugi with some issues even if he seemed to be very okay with that in the end. I'm kind of iffy about this story because it feels a bit pointless and because it has the mild spiritual themes and I feel like I can't write religious matters very believably. I don't know if it's because I myself am not a part of any religion and find my peace in forests and saunas rather than churches or temples (but I do enjoy visiting churches and temples because of the architecture) or just because I feel it's something very personal to people and I don't really have much business trying to guess a character's spiritual orientation. So I kept it vague and based Yugi and Bakura's musings on the fact that most Japanese don't exclusively identify themselves as members of a single religion (which I think is very neat).**

**The reason they are drinking mate is because it is a symbol of friendship.**

**Reviews appreciated. Hope I didn't waste your time with this short piece. :)**


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